In Remembrance

Today, January 17, 2012 is the due date of the baby we lost at 7 weeks along. I know to a lot of people, that isn't a big deal, but I feel the loss of that child everyday. So, today, on this special day, I wanted to write down my feelings about our sweet angel, and how this miscarriage has affected my daily life. 
Everyday, I am so much more thankful for Jude, his sweet spirit, and the wonderful opportunity to be his mother here on Earth, and in the Eternities. I am in awe everyday that Heavenly Father would send such an amazing child into my life. He is my joy, and everything I live for. I cannot live without him, he makes me smile, laugh, love, and appreciate each and every day. 
My love for Kevin has intensified, Kevin is my rock, my foundation, and someone who makes me so incredibly happy. I can't believe I am so lucky to be his wife and companion. Kevin makes me feel strong when I am so weak, he makes my heart sing with the knowledge of how much he loves and cares for me, and our kids. He is the best man I have ever known, or will ever know, he is my everything.
I was blessed with some knowledge about the baby that we lost, and most of it is too precious to put out there, but even as heartbroken as I am at our loss, I know that because of Jesus Christ, I will get to raise that baby in the next life. I am so grateful for the true gospel, and that Kevin and I are sealed for time and ALL eternity. I am beyond thankful for the chance  I had to have the baby with me for 7 weeks, and I look forward to the time that we will get to spend in Heaven getting to know this child, and getting to raise a sweet spirit there. 
Overall, I am thankful that I had a miscarriage, I know that this is kind of an odd thing to say, I still wish everyday that this baby was still with us, but now Jude, and the little boy we get to have in a few months, mean so much more to me. This trial has brought me closer to my Heavenly Father, and to my family. Life in general means much, much more to me than ever before. I have a responsibility to that baby and to my whole family to strive to do my best every day, and be as strong as possible in the Gospel so that I can have that opportunity to be a mother and a wife in the next life.